I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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