i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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