I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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