Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
