You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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