i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
