So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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