Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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