Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
