Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
