I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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