Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
