I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
