I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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