You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
