don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
