Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
