it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
