I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
