We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
