Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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