you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
