all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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