I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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