You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
