I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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