I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
