I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had sex on a roof
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize