Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
