So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
