i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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