What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize