i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize