Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
