yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
