okay pat passed out under dana's car
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
