we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
