well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
