All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
