I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
