ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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