so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Drake has all the answers
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
