I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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