There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My balls are so social today.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
