So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize