I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
