Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
