dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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