Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
