3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
