I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
