remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
