and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
