dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
