I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
