Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
