Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
