Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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