I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
