Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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