I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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