So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
